Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
