My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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