Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
