youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
