I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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