dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
