Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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