the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
