yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
