i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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