I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It was confusing and full of hummus
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
