My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
