Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
