I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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