and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
