The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
