the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
