To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Someone signed my nipple.
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