Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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