I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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