I think I am morally bankrupt
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
