pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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