he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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