listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
