absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
