I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
