I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
