break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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