dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
