ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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