Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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