Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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