You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We talked him into tasing himself.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
