We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
