So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
