Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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