I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
