He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
