His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The power of my boobs compel you
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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