Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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