You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
