She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
