I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Randomize
