Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
