Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
