The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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