dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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