i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
