I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
