The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
