Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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