don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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