I just cut my nipple shaving
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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